How to Bounce Back from Anything

How to Bounce Back from Anything

The Art of Resilience

By Leo Babauta

Post on October 29, 2025

For long-term pursuits like goals or habit change, one of the most important things we can develop to help us succeed is resilience: the ability to bounce back from setbacks and struggles.

It’s inevitable that we’ll get knocked off course. We’re going to have bad days, we’ll get discouraged from failure, we’ll miss days of doing a habit … all of this is expected, par for the course.

It’s not about whether we’ll get knocked off course or discouraged — it’s a matter of when. And when that happens, everything depends on whether we can get ourselves back in the game.

This is long-term resilience: the ability to handle difficulty, setbacks, being thrown off course, and emotional challenges.

And it’s something we can develop, with some practice.

Let’s talk about how to develop this long-term resilience — and if you’d like to work on this with me, join my Fearless Living Academy where we’ll be focusing on this theme for November!

What Resilience Actually Is

Resilience is not about whether or not you have strength, but whether you can deal with the difficulties that come your way, cope with them, and get back to your center. Get back on track.

It’s about being able to handle some discomfort, accepting that hard things will come your way, and trusting yourself to deal with all of it.

It’s about accepting struggle, and developing a new relationship to it.

The Mindset Shifts That Matter

Becoming more resilient starts with mindset. If we have a more resilient mindset, we take struggles and setbacks more in stride.

Here are some mindset shifts to consider — depending on what your current mindset might be:

• Setbacks: Instead of them being evidence that something is wrong with you, or the world is against you … see setbacks as a part of the path.
  ​
• Failures: Instead of seeing “failure” as a negative word that means something bad about you … see it as a packet of information. It’s teaching you something valuable that you can grow from.
  ​
• Timeline: We often think of setbacks as bad because they’re throwing us off our timeline — maybe we hoped to achieve a goal by a certain date, and the setback delays things. Instead, we might let go of the timeline (which was made up anyway) and see that this journey doesn’t happen on a schedule, but unfolds as it needs to.
  ​
• Emotions: When we have negative emotions, instead of seeing it as evidence that something is wrong or you should quit — you might see them as a part of any meaningful journey. You’re going to feel frustrated, discouraged, inadequate, defeated, or powerless at some point along any challenging endeavor. It’s something to feel, to process, to move through, as opposed to a reason to quit.
  ​
• Starting again: Often we see starting again, after falling off track, as a burden or a discouraging sign — instead, we can look at it again as a part of anything meaningful. Any longer, challenging endeavor will include many starts and stops. Our challenge is to master the art of starting again!

Look at these mindset shifts and try to distinguish which ones often get in your way. Then practice the shifts with some practical practices below.

Practical Practices for Building Resilience

Mindset shifts are where we start, but the way we actually build resilience is with regular practice, just like with any skill or capacity we want to develop.

Here are some ways to practice on a regular basis:

• Calm: Start by noticing when you’re thrown off. You’re discouraged, frustrated, stressed about a setback or a struggle. The first thing, after you notice this, is to calm your nervous system. You can do that by sitting still for a couple of minutes, and letting yourself breathe slowly. The slower, deeper breathing will calm you a bit. Think of one of the mindset shifts, and see if that helps calm you as well. Remind yourself that a setback is no big deal. Relax your body.
  ​
• Accept: Whatever is happening to throw you off, it is a good practice to try to accept it as a part of your journey. Miss a couple of days of exercise? No big deal, it happens. Forgot to study French the last few days? No big deal, things got busy, get back on track. Feeling down and unmotivated? Sure, it’s OK to feel that way sometimes. Acceptance helps relax you around whatever is happening, reducing stress and overreaction to the setback.
  ​
• Feel Emotions: It’s a resilience practice to let yourself feel your emotions when you face challenges and setbacks. Maybe you’re feeling disappointed, frustrated, discouraged. That’s OK! Running from the emotions only makes you more fragile, because you become afraid of them. Instead, you might try just letting yourself feel the emotions, as a physical experience. It’s like letting yourself feel wind on your face. Just feel the emotions, don’t get caught up in thoughts about them, and let them pass on.
  ​
• Start Again: When we bounce back, it can feel like a drag to be starting again … but this is a key skill to practice for anything that takes awhile, from new habits to achieving goals. It can help to think of it as the excitement of a fresh start — it can be motivating to start from scratch.
  ​
• Get Support: We are more resilient when we have community. Find others to be a part of your journey, to join you in your goals, or to talk to when you’re struggling. A coach or a therapist can be a part of this support as well. This helps us to feel less alone, and more resilient.
  ​
• Find Meaning: We can’t always control the setbacks we face … but we can choose the meaning. Instead of “why is this happening to me?” or “this sucks, it always happens to me” … what about “What can this teach me?” or “How is this serving my growth?” By asking these kinds of questions, we frame the setback with something meaningful.

Resilience — the ability to bounce back gracefully from anything — is a long-term capacity and set of skills to develop. Take it one small step at a time. Pick one tiny practice and commit to practicing it daily.

You don’t have to bounce back perfectly, or even quickly. You can just learn to do it better over time, with practice and reflection.

If you’d like to build long-term resilience with me, join my Fearless Living Academy where we’ll be focusing on this theme for November!

​

with love,

Leo Babauta

Zen Habits

• https://zenhabits.net/

What to Do When You’re Triggered

What to Do When You’re Triggered

By Leo Babauta

Posted on May 6, 2025

Whether it’s personal relationships, rude people, or crazy things happening in the world … we all get emotionally triggered sometimes. We get frustrated, angry, hurt, shut down, and so on.

The question isn’t “will I ever get triggered?” … it’s “what can I do when I get triggered?” This will be a quick guide.

The first thing is to notice that you’re triggered — your nervous system is activated and you’re upset. A lot of people don’t notice. They just take action in an angry or panicky way, which doesn’t usually lead to the best outcomes. So if you can notice you’re triggered, you’ll be able to do something about it rather than being on autopilot.

Second, take a moment to pause. That might mean taking a moment to just sit still and breathe. Or if you’re in an argument with someone, take a time out for a bit. Get out of the situation if possible. If that’s not possible, then take a few deep breaths.

Third, deepen and slow the breath. This might sound obvious to some, but it’s notable that few people actually practice this when they’re triggered, because in that moment of nervous system activation, we forget. So take a moment and slow down the breath. Deepen it into the belly instead of just the upper chest (shallow breathing). This slower, deeper breathing will shift your nervous system out of fight-or-flight mode into a calmer mode.

Fourth, notice you’re caught in a narrative and probably an overreaction. You’re likely caught up in habitual thoughts about the other person, about yourself, or about the situation. “Why do they always have to do that?” and other thoughts like that. There’s nothing wrong with this narrative/thought pattern, but it’s probably an old pattern from long ago, and might not be the most helpful for you. Just realizing this is huge. It’s also good to realize that you’re likely reacting from some hurt from years past, and reacting from hurt is often an overreaction. There’s nothing wrong with overreacting when we’re hurt, but just realizing it is important.

Validate your feelings but don’t let them rule. Your feelings are your feelings — you’re not wrong for feeling them. Instead of telling yourself you shouldn’t be overreacting or you shouldn’t be upset … try acknowledging and validating your feelings. You can do that by just saying to yourself, “I’m upset. I’m hurt. And that’s OK, it makes complete sense to feel this way.” If you do that, you’ll allow your feelings to feel seen and acknowledged, and they can calm down a bit.

Find a healthy way to process your emotions and take a calmer action. Sometimes it can help to go for a walk, to vent to someone, to do some exercise to get the energy out, to scream into a pillow, or to soothe yourself. Once you’ve processed those emotions (don’t ignore them if you can), then find a calm action that will help yourself or the situation. For example, taking responsibility and apologizing can often help. Or sharing your feelings in a vulnerable way. Or speaking clearly but calmly about your boundaries. Or leaving the situation. What would be most helpful to everyone involved?

Leo Babauta

Zen Habits

• https://zenhabits.net/

When Your Cup is Empty

When Your Cup is Empty

By Leo Babauta

Posted on April 26, 2025

I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately who feel depleted, and not energized or motivated in the work they’re doing. They feel more irritated at others, and feeling like everything is a burden.

This is how it feels when your cup is empty. You’ve given a lot, you’ve served others, but now you’re feeling resentful or battered by it all.

How do we deal with this? Do we just power through? Do we give ourselves positive affirmations? Do we shut it all down and remove ourselves from society?

These are all reasonable ideas, but I don’t find any of them really work well. There’s another way — let’s talk about how to deal with this kind of situation.

Recognize You’re in This Place

If you don’t realize your cup is empty, you can’t do anything about it. So awareness is the most important step.

Here are some signs to look for:

• You’re feeling drained and exhausted
• You don’t feel motivated to do anything
• People irritate you more than usual
• Everything feels like a burden
• You’re feeling resentful for having to take care of others
• You don’t care about things as much as you normally do

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with feeling any of this! It’s a very human thing to feel, and a consequence of doing a lot in the world. Anyone who leads or serves will feel this sometimes.

So how do we deal with this? Let’s talk about some strategies.

Take Care of Yourself

The first thing to notice is that you’re feeling battered by the world, and very tender. Lots of people want to power through this, and force themselves to do something. Or they want to give up. Neither is that helpful.

Instead, take care of these battered and tender feelings:

1. Ask yourself what your inner rawness needs — some rest, space, deeper breath, compassion?
2. If needed, give yourself a bit of a break — some space and rest. Postpone some meetings, put some things off, let yourself recover.
3. Care about how you’re feeling rather than avoiding it. Start to act as if it’s OK to feel this way, and that it matters to you. Give yourself some love and compassion.

What kind of rest do you need? What kinds of comforting things would be helpful?

I find it helpful for myself if I create some space for rest by moving appointments and having a wide-open day or two. Then I take naps, go out in nature for walks, or get in some hugs from my wife and kids. Or do something fun. Or comforting: I like hot tea, a hot shower, cuddling and watching a movie, making vegan chocolate chip cookies.

How to Get Yourself to a More Open Place

Let’s say you did the two things above — recognize you’re in a battered and tender place, and do what you can to take care of yourself … now what?

What if you want to get yourself to a more open place, where you are lit up by your work and by life? Where you are excited to work with other people?

I don’t think it’s something that should be forced. We can’t force the heart to open.

That said, the heart will open when we’ve created the right conditions:

• You’ve cared about how you feel, and paid attention to it
• You’ve taken care of yourself, given yourself space, rest, breath, presence, love, nurturing, or whatever you need
• You do something heart-opening: gratitude, wonder, joy, love, compassion for others or yourself

These don’t have to be done all at once, nor are they sequential. You might give yourslef some rest first, then care about how you feel, then do something small that’s heart-opening, then repeat a few times in small doses.

In fact, I’d say small doses usually work best. Just a little of each, whatever feels good instead of what you should do.

Heart opening things include:

• Spending a few minutes thinking of 3 things you’re grateful for today
• Going on a wonder walk and letting yourself find awe in nature
• Sending a small love note to someone you care about
• Letting yourself do something fun and joyful (dancing, playing games, frolicking in the ocean)
• Feeling compassion for someone who is suffering

Don’t force yourself to do any of these things. Do them when they feel good.

One little step at a time, your heart will open. Then you’ll be ready to take on your inspired life.

​

with love,

Leo Babauta

Zen Habits

• https://zenhabits.net/