Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? 2

Can You Talk More About the Personal Self Not Existing? Part 2

By Master Sanhia

Channel Michael Hersey

Posted on July 5, 2025

Participant: I see what a furious energy it is.

And you notice how well that has worked for you.

Participant: No, it hasn’t worked well. I’m punishing myself.

Back to this word of “confusion”: to make it very simple, wherever there is confusion, or the experience or the illusion of confusion, it is where there is the belief that there is a separate you. And, simply, be aware that that’s what’s going on. When you are experiencing a separate you, you are not in the now; you are somewhere in the mind, holding on to an illusion that isn’t true. Be constantly aware of that. Simplicity is: there is just now and there is no you. So, notice when you are making it confusing and you are believing that there is a separate you. Notice it. You can’t make yourself change, because there is no you there to force that to happen. There is no mind that could choose that. There is simply the awareness of, “Ooh! Craziness at work.” Kind of like the signs at the side of the road, “Men at work ahead.” You know you could put a sign out in front of yourself, “Craziness at work.” (laughing) And you simply notice that, “Oh, craziness is at work here.” And then what can you do? You can ask yourself the question, “But who is noticing this?” Yes, there is this thinking, this believing that there is this separate character, this separate me, separate from God. At the same time there is experiencing going on. There is awareness going on. Where does that awareness sit? Is the one who is experiencing fear and pain also the one who is aware of the experiencing of fear and pain? Who is aware of this? Where is this awareness taking place?

Participant: The awareness is the Oneness, the experience that there is no separation, that can come now and then.

There is a differentiation between the thought, “There is no separation,” and the experience of Oneness. So if the thought is there, “Oh, there is no separation”, who is aware of that? Where is that awareness? There is still a step back. It is like the exercise you were given in the book today, “Remember back to a time between five and ten years old that is a very wonderful experience in your memory. It’s so wonderful that you can still pull it up, and if you pull it up what you experience is an absolute Oneness with what is happening – no thought about how it should be or how it could be better or why it’s happening – just a joy and an amazement at what’s there. Even for the word pain to occur there has to be duality.

Participant: So you say that pain is really when you resist….

The mind says that there’s pain and there’s not pain, so there is a comparison. So, it is not what I am experiencing now; It’s what I am experiencing now compared to what I experienced at another time and saying, “Oh, I prefer the other time”. I have said this before, but I’ll say it again. You have the story shown to you where Jesus appears to be tortured on the cross. But there can only be pain there if Jesus is comparing it to another time. If it is just what is; it is what is. There just is this now, nothing to compare it to, nothing better or worse, just this.

Participant: So help me to open up that reality.

One pointer in that is remembering to turn off your mind, to not follow it, to simply be with what is there. And let it be what it is without resistance, without the thought of changing it – that it should be something else – to let it be what it is, to accept it as the gift of God that it is. Perfection that defies understanding, that goes beyond. The mind comes in, wants to bargain, “Okay God, I can accept this pain if you can tell me why it’s here,” making deals, not accepting.

Participant: This urge to understand…

Is a desire to control.

Participant: There we have this controlling bitch again (laughing).

If I can understand how God’s working, (laughing) then I can do God’s job. I don’t need God.

Participant: There is the Oneness. Yeah, and then it isn’t me or God; it is just the will of God. There was a little Ulla thinking she was separated.

But there is no little Ulla.

Participant: But I guess it’s just something that comes when it comes because as soon as I want to do it, then I’m lost.

You can have that intention to notice when resistance to the now is active, when little Ulla is active, so that you don’t continue in an unconscious repetitive fashion.

Participant: I can really feel how nailed this is…with little Ulla, and try to be somebody in this world, try to get some love. It’s scary to let go of that. It’s like a survival thing.

Except for one thing, it’s not survival – it’s suicide.

Participant: What a great misunderstanding (laughing).

Where it might start to stop is when there is an awareness of how suicidal it is, how guaranteed it is to bring pain and failure. And you say, “Well it’s scary to let go of, but if I hold onto it there is certainty. I’m going to suffer and have pain.” And when you realize the absolute certainty of continuing on that course, then surrendering to another course that offers the possibility that maybe something different can happen becomes easier.

Participant: The feeling I can have is…there is nothing else to lose.

Or to say, “Nothing to lose but your chains.”

Participant: That’s scary enough to take them off. That is the surrender to the will of God.

When there is the realization that every negative emotion you feel is the result of your choosing separation from God, every one of them comes from choosing that there’s a you, a little you, separate from God. How long are you going to choose when you know beyond a doubt that it is your choice to resist the Divine of what’s being brought, and to hold yourself separate, and to believe that you are supposed to pick and choose, and that there is right and wrong and good and bad, and it has to happen the way your mind says. That that is a prison, creates pain in your body – every body – your emotional body, psychological body, your physical body. When you notice that, how long are you going to continue to choose that? For some time; it is habit.

Participant: I wish it to stop now.

When your eyes are open and say, “Oh, but this has been my choice.” So every time, EVERY TIME, there is a projection on anyone, you are sending pain and imprisonment to yourself. Every time. No exception.

Participant: Can the prayer of, “Help me to surrender to the will of God” break that?

“Help me realize there is no me.” As long as there is a you, there is a separate will.

Participant: To surrender to the will of God is to let go of my separate will.

But it is to let go of the separate self.

Participant: What is the difference here?

If there is no separate self, then there is no will but God’s Will. As long as there is a separate self, there is a separate will.

Participant: So this prayer comes from the separate will?

If you are saying, “Help me”, who is me? Every prayer comes from separation. Why would you ask God to bring you the perfect thing when God always does that? “Oh God, please let there be air today.” It is not your job or possibility to choose anything, to be responsible for anything. (soft crying) You are just here to play in the garden with what is there, with what is presented in the now. If it is not part of the now, it doesn’t exist. It’s not here. Everything that could come into the mind that’s part of the now is connected to the little you that doesn’t exist because if you really look at whatever feels hard, heavy, weighty, confusing, emotionally disturbing – in this now – it’s not happening in this now. Maybe one percent of it. It’s simply a recognition of that. “Is this happening now?” No. “What is happening now?” Hmmm. And when there are these what you would call “negative emotions”, they are always connected with something that is not now. You may be conscious of those thoughts right now, in which case you can look at them and say, “But is that happening now; is that part of the now? What’s here in the now?” But maybe the feeling is there and the mind has no idea where it is coming from. Then let the feeling be there.

Sanhia/Spirit

Michael Hersey

• https://channelswithoutborders.com/
• All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders
• Feel free to share this with friends.

Can You Talk More About the Personal Self Not Existing? - 1

Can You Talk More About the Personal Self Not Existing? Part 1

By Master Sanhia

Channel Michael Hersey

Posted on June 8, 2025

The ego mind has its own definition of perfection, and it only, occasionally, accidentally bumps up against the perfection that is. Part of that picture of perfection often is that the ego mind fully understands what is going on. But the ego mind never understands what is going on. It can’t because it is insane. It feels that it is real and it thinks that you are separate from the One. And it feels it has a mind of its own that should be listened to. Einstein once said, “The mind that created the problem is incapable of creating the solution”. You can rest easily with not understanding. Understanding is the function of the ego mind. Knowing is the function of Spirit. So, when you know, it is beyond understanding. There is no explaining why you know or what you know; you just know. There is certainty. That is why when you follow the will of God there is no choice. You just know. If you think there is choice, then you are in the ego mind trying to figure it out. And, as I like to say, good luck with that, because it doesn’t matter what you choose. We’ll talk more about these experiences of noticing, being what you think of as you, but noticing. What kind of experiences? And so you find that the world doesn’t disappear if you wait and don’t make a decision. What is important? If there is fear in the now, then that is what’s in the now. That is the gift. But it is not something to be overcome.

Participant: Coming up distrust. Sometimes it is painful and I can feel it is so hard not to project it. I can see when I project. It is like abandoning myself. Even though I see all of this it’s really hard to let it go. There is some ego voice that is so angry, or very loud. So it’s really a roller coaster. And there is another thing that is very important, that’s about my karmic eight. What an enormous ego power it has. How my impulse is really driven by this controlling bitch. That is also an important insight.

The place that we want to come back to is this place where there is no you. If there is no you, then there are no stories. Then there is no karmic eight. That’s a story. You can deal with all of the stories. You have found in another discipline that you could deal with your feelings and deal with your feelings, and the bucket is bottomless. You never reach the end of it. There is always another feeling. There is always something else. If there is fear it works better to accept it than to resist it. But, who is having this fear? As long as you believe there is a you who has fear, you will have fear. But there is no you having this fear. That is the illusion. Go. You look and notice that there is something noticing the story; whatever it might be, that is not the story. It’s simply noticing the story. No different than if you are watching a film on the television. You are noticing that story but you are not the story. So the question continually is, “Who is noticing this?”, and, “Where is this noticer?”  If you keep looking at that and looking at that, if you think you have found the noticer, “Who is noticing the noticer you have found?”  There is a step back and a step back, but there is no forwards and backwards so we are just saying that in a metaphorical sense that there is a step back until there is simply noticing. No noticer, simply noticing.

Participant: What does that mean? The difference?

When you are watching a film, say on the television, you are noticing. First of all, you are noticing it is all projected on the screen. It’s not real; it’s not happening in your living room. You are simply noticing a projection on the screen. Where there is a character on the screen, you are noticing the character but you are not saying that’s me. But in the screen that you call your life, you are pretending that the character that you call “you” on the screen is real. But it’s not. It’s an actor that you are watching. You can practice when you’re watching the television screen and notice where you project yourself into any of the characters – either through thinking, “Oh, they are a good character”, or “Oh, they are a bad character”, or “Oh, they shouldn’t do that”, or “What are they thinking?”, and so on. Notice that there is projection going on. It’s not real. You turn it off and everything is gone. Nothing is there. Or you can turn it back on and watch the same episode over and over and over. Does it change? It’s just a projection on a screen. So you can practice with that and notice where you are giving reality to what is on the screen.

Participant: Now when I have experienced so much physical pain it feels so real because you can’t get away from it, or you can take a painkiller but then everything is gone.

Now you are projecting on your screen. Is there pain present in the now?

Participant: That is a memory I am talking about.

But that is what I am talking about. A memory is not the now. It’s not real. It’s not happening.

Participant: I couldn’t handle that in that way when it was there. And that’s why I bring it up – to get some guidance around it.

In the now there may be an experience and your mind might label that experience pain. When it labels pain and names it, then it moves out of the now and allows all of the stories of pain that the mind is holding on to, to be experienced in the now. Not simply what is in the now, but the whole idea of pain and everything around it. For example, a thought comes in, “Aw (breathes deeply), what if the pain keeps getting worse and worse?” “What if it gets to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it?” “What if it never stops?” “What is the meaning of this? Is this a punishment for me?” “What have I done?!” “What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What’s the message? Spirit tell me what’s the message! Why am I having this pain?” The mind goes into all of this craziness that has nothing to do with the now. It’s going off in all of these directions instead of simply noticing the sensation, which is not pain. Pain is a word. You don’t experience a word. So you experience something in the body. So you go into it and you just experience nothing but that; let the mind go. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, where it came from, why it’s there, how long – it’s just what is here right now. And so you say, “Thank you Spirit; this is what is here right now”. And you experience it. And if the mind goes a little bit nuts and it’s more than you can tolerate, then take a painkiller. (laughter). There is no right or wrong about it. And then the next time the sensation comes, it’s a new experience. It’s a new now. But you are with the feeling, not with the thought of the feeling, not with the label of the feeling, but just the feeling. I want you to notice the resistance you have to simply letting it be there.

Participant: Yeah. I see that.

And so, for example, you project that.

Participant: Yeah, I have noticed that. And it’s one thing to notice it, but it’s not so easy to stop it.

Yes, but noticing comes first. If you don’t notice it, it goes on forever. And the second thing you do – you can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but you say, “Ooh, but I’m not going to act on that now. Just going to notice that it’s there.”

Participant: Then I get a little bit shamed about, “I’m so bad I can’t deal with this”, and so there is judgment on myself and…

It’s all the same thing. Judgment is not of the now. Judgment is comparison to what the mind thinks should be there. And the mind’s crazy.

Participant: There is this fear of letting it go because then there is this abyss. That is so scary. (laughs) Scares the shit out of me.

So where is this abyss?

Participant: Yeah. (laughs) Where is the fear? From where does it come? If I accept it then it just takes over. So that is why there is some fighting against it.

It already has taken over. (laughter) You’ve been letting it take over, empowering it all of your life. They say that the horse is already out of the barn. The thought of the mind always is dual. There is good and there is bad. Only the good is of God; the bad is not. And of course where you fit in, the you you think of as you, you’re on the bad side.

Participant: I am? (laughs) 

Always. Trying to be good. “God look at how good I’m being. I’m so good.” But you believe that you’re bad. So what? Punishment? Sickness? “Guilt, fear, all these punishments that come to me because I’m bad.” “But I’m trying to be good. Tell me what I should learn here, God.”  (laughter) And all we’re saying is there’s no good or bad here. Whatever God brings is from God. There are no good gifts from God and bad gifts from God. It’s all Divine. The mind says, “Where is the love?” The truth says, “It’s all love. That’s all there is.” The mind says, “How can I feel loved?” The truth says, “You are love.” But the mind that sees a you as real, separate from God, then sees you as not love, because God is love and you are separate from god, therefore you are not love.

Participant: Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

Loved if you do and loved if you don’t.

Participant: (laughing) I think I’ll choose that. Is it possible to choose that? Who is choosing?

You’re choosing damned if you do and damned if you don’t, because as long as it’s you choosing, you are choosing separate from God. So no matter what you choose, you are choosing separation. But the truth is…not real. You’re not separate. And the pain is just on the screen. It’s not real. The part of you that believes there is a separate you also believes that pain is probably a good thing; because if you suffer enough, God will take you home. And if you stop suffering you are lost in hell forever.

Participant: It’s a lot of confusion.

It’s only the mind that creates confusion. There is no confusion, It’s very, very simple. Whatever is here is from God and is Love. If you want to resist and fight it, that’s when it gets confusing. You simply silence what is. How crazy would it be to try to change what is; it already is.

Sanhia/Spirit

Michael Hersey

• https://channelswithoutborders.com/
• All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders
• Feel free to share this with friends.